Praying With Perspective

“Please heal my loved one, Lord!” I prayed…for probably the 300th time in my life.  The healing that I desired for this person was just not being given by my gracious Father, and I was aching inside as years passed and no change came for them.  I was journaling about how difficult it was for me to see God not answer my prayer  for the one I loved.  Convinced that God’s power would be more visibly displayed in their healing rather than in the continuance of “the thorn” that was stuck in them, I begged God to work a miracle in their life.

But then something strangely…divinely…changed in my request. After journaling my usual prayer for this loved one, I continued on by writing, “But Lord, if you aren’t going to give them healing, then instead, can you heal my response to their not being healed?”  It was a moment, I assure you.  I had grappled for years with God saying what seemed to be a flat, “No” to my prayers for this dear one in my life. Now I was asking God not to make a change in their life, but in mine.  To make a change in my response, not in theirs. Sometimes, the ones we love suffer under something that almost seems to bother us more than it does them.  Maybe you know what I mean?  It’s as though they’ve come to terms with God about it, but we haven’t.  This is how I was living with the suffering in my loved one’s life.  I was feeling crushed under it and they seemed to be fairly content with where God had them.  Year after year as I waited for God to move miraculously in their life, I may have been praying with the wrong perspective.  I may have been praying selfishly,”Fix this, God!”

When I finally found myself writing the words, “can you heal my response to their notbeing healed?” I realized this was a prayer the Holy Spirit was prompting me to pray.  Not being able to be at peace with a “no” from the Lord was causing me great distress.  Scripture tells us

You (God) keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”   Isaiah 26:3

I needed that perfect peace which came from a full trust in God, whether He chose to heal or not.  Letting go of the answer I so desperately wanted freed me to look at God Himself as the Sustainer, rather than as the pain-reliever.  If He says “no” to the healing, He is still saying “yes” to supplying every true need of my loved one and myself.  In other words, if God doesn’t heal, then it’s because His plan is more glorious than that. Maybe that sounds hard to believe, but it is true.  As with many things we grapple with, we simply won’t see the big picture ’til this life is over and we’re in heaven with God.  Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane,

Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done” Luke 22:42

So how is your “Praying Perspective” today?  Is there some answer for which you are digging in your heels and refusing to be content unless God says “yes” to you?  Don’t continue on like that, friend. Ask God to work in your response to the “no” He may be giving.  He wants you to be at peace. He wants you to trust Him.